I also made one for the baby, but she's sleeping right now, so I can't have her model.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Well, it finally happened. I got a call from a bill collector this morning. I won't say I don't deserve it; my checking account is way overdrawn. But the officious, vindictive attitude of the pedantic cow who called really pushed my buttons. I mean, I've been overdrawn before...And paid for it, at $34 a pop. Considering that, generally, they assess charges on expenditures of 5 dollars or less, I would think they'd be grateful. But now I owe over $200 in bank fees alone, and they want to get all persnickety and anal retentive. Helloooo, you've always gotten your money in the past! Why would I stop paying now?
Anyway, she pretty much demanded immediate payment...I pointed out to her that if I was hoarding money in my mattress, I probably wouldn't be overdrawn in the first place. So we spent twenty minutes going back and forth. She says pay, I say I have nothing, rinse & repeat. Finally I told her that the tooth fairy was going to bring me the money, and I'd have it in the bank by her predetermined date.
It was about then that I realized that I am pretty much officially dead to myself. I kind of always knew I'd be a charity case, but it's gone too far now. Too many bad choices...If I start now, maybe I can die of cirrhosis and avoid living as a bagwoman when I'm fifty. I remember when I was a kid I was always borrowing money...I never saved, never tried to say no to myself. It's pretty much the same now, just bigger amounts. The more money you owe, the less of a person you are. Even if you owe it to people who love you so much they don't even keep track.
Anyway, she pretty much demanded immediate payment...I pointed out to her that if I was hoarding money in my mattress, I probably wouldn't be overdrawn in the first place. So we spent twenty minutes going back and forth. She says pay, I say I have nothing, rinse & repeat. Finally I told her that the tooth fairy was going to bring me the money, and I'd have it in the bank by her predetermined date.
It was about then that I realized that I am pretty much officially dead to myself. I kind of always knew I'd be a charity case, but it's gone too far now. Too many bad choices...If I start now, maybe I can die of cirrhosis and avoid living as a bagwoman when I'm fifty. I remember when I was a kid I was always borrowing money...I never saved, never tried to say no to myself. It's pretty much the same now, just bigger amounts. The more money you owe, the less of a person you are. Even if you owe it to people who love you so much they don't even keep track.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Recipe for Happiness
6 large-ish jalapeno peppers
12 slices of bacon
1 package of cream cheese
toothpicks
Halve peppers and scrape out the insides; discard. fill each half with cream cheese. Starting at the stem end, wind one piece of bacon around each pepper; toothpick in place.
Sear in a hot pan until crispy.
Devour messily, moaning with culinary euphoria.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
N.O.O. Happenings!
So, it's been a busy week. The back of the fence is finally finished, with a gate'n everything. We're getting the locks on Thursday. Doesn't it look beautiful? It really makes you realize what a big yard we have.
Now we just have to get the side fenced in and it's DONE. Huzzah, etc. Maybe this weekend, if we're lucky.
We skipped church on Sunday and went to Six Flags for the MIL's company picnic. The kids had a great time...They've never been to an amusement park before, so they just about wore themselves out.
Even the baby enjoyed hanging out in her little rickshaw.
The kid's favorite ride was the imitation autobahn. Of course I got stuck with the one that can't see over the dashboard.
The oldest got her own car, of course.
Mr. Legs and his brother decided to ride some of the bigger, vomit-inducing rides.
They asked me if I wanted to go, but why bother? Any time I want to whirl around at ludicrous speed and fear for my life, I can just let Mr. Legs drive.
We found these beautiful, unusual flowers sprouting near the fence.
The FIL tells us that they are called Spider Lilies, and that they used to grow all around the fence in the now defunct flower beds. The flowers lasted about three seconds after the kids saw them, so we dug up the bulbs and we'll plant them in a more prominent place soon.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Yard; interupted.
After two weeks of grueling labor, most of which involved carrying sweet tea out to the guys clearing the yard, I have 2/3 of a fence and a yard I can walk through without being attacked by giant tetanus globules.
This
has been replaced with this:
Six feet of pedophile-repelling, rabid dog-discouraging soft pine. It makes me so very happy. Of course, I'd be even happier if there was a back to it. Right now, it opens into the jungle-like crack alley that runs behind my house. But we hope to have the rest of the fence soon.
This...
Has been cleared out, adding a nice view into the backyard from the bathroom, which is a good thing, because I don't put books in there.
I'm pretty sure this is where the skunks live.
We've actually made alot of progress, thanks mostly to Mr. Legs and his assorted family members. It's coming along nicely.
The best part about the inside so far is The Blogging Hole.
The lamp has been reassigned from it's previous functions as a Torchiere and a candle holder. The mirror gives it that perky Inquisition flavor.
The Inquisition (What a show!)
The Inquisition (Here we go!)
We have a mission to convert the Jews (Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew!)
Speakin of Mel Brooks, I watched Blazing Saddle the other night. I wish Madeline Kahn were still alive...
This
has been replaced with this:
Six feet of pedophile-repelling, rabid dog-discouraging soft pine. It makes me so very happy. Of course, I'd be even happier if there was a back to it. Right now, it opens into the jungle-like crack alley that runs behind my house. But we hope to have the rest of the fence soon.
This...
Has been cleared out, adding a nice view into the backyard from the bathroom, which is a good thing, because I don't put books in there.
I'm pretty sure this is where the skunks live.
We've actually made alot of progress, thanks mostly to Mr. Legs and his assorted family members. It's coming along nicely.
The best part about the inside so far is The Blogging Hole.
The lamp has been reassigned from it's previous functions as a Torchiere and a candle holder. The mirror gives it that perky Inquisition flavor.
The Inquisition (What a show!)
The Inquisition (Here we go!)
We have a mission to convert the Jews (Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew!)
Speakin of Mel Brooks, I watched Blazing Saddle the other night. I wish Madeline Kahn were still alive...
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Boycott Toys!
Unless you live under a rock, you've probably seen that big name toy makers are recalling millions of toys for lead content, harmful magnets, etc. This CANNOT be allowed to continue!
Write to the toy companies and tell them that you will not be buying any toys this Christmas season! Show them that they cannot allow their manufacturers to cut corners!
Instead of buying lead pellets for your kids to chew on, try some of these ideas this holiday season:
1) Horse riding lessons: Find a stable nearby and sign little Piper up for a month of pony riding bliss. Wrap up a pair of cowboy boots, patent leather english boots, a riding helmet and some spurs.
2) Gardening implements: Buy a spade, a hoe, and a cultivator fork, fence off a corner of the backyard and tell them that come spring, they can plant whatever their little heart desires. Show Taylor how to grow a green bean teepee.
3) Camping gear; No cutesy little plastic Spongebob crap, but real tin pots and pans, a warm sleeping bag, and a real tent. Make plans to go camping together.
4) Music lessons; Guitar, drums, clarinet...Let them choose.
5) Backyard enhancements; Buy a Rainbow play set, build a sandbox, even just a kid-sized pull-up bar will keep them out in the backyard longer than you'd think.
Write to the toy companies and tell them that you will not be buying any toys this Christmas season! Show them that they cannot allow their manufacturers to cut corners!
Instead of buying lead pellets for your kids to chew on, try some of these ideas this holiday season:
1) Horse riding lessons: Find a stable nearby and sign little Piper up for a month of pony riding bliss. Wrap up a pair of cowboy boots, patent leather english boots, a riding helmet and some spurs.
2) Gardening implements: Buy a spade, a hoe, and a cultivator fork, fence off a corner of the backyard and tell them that come spring, they can plant whatever their little heart desires. Show Taylor how to grow a green bean teepee.
3) Camping gear; No cutesy little plastic Spongebob crap, but real tin pots and pans, a warm sleeping bag, and a real tent. Make plans to go camping together.
4) Music lessons; Guitar, drums, clarinet...Let them choose.
5) Backyard enhancements; Buy a Rainbow play set, build a sandbox, even just a kid-sized pull-up bar will keep them out in the backyard longer than you'd think.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
My N.O.O. House; Overview
That's right, my Not Overly Obscene house.
We're finally moving out of the Cottage Cheese hell that is our apartment, and into a real, made-out-of-wood-and-held-together-with-nails house. Held mostly together with nails, anyway.
That's the view from the front door. Why yes, how nice of you to notice, the carpet is a violent shade of maroon. It worked for the previous tenants...That's all I've got to say. It was pink, but it worked.
However, I'm not pink; never have been, and that carpet runs through every rat-poxed room in the house but the kitchen and the bathroom.
God help us.
There are ceiling fans and a couple of window air conditioners, but my financial advisor has financially advised me that we can't afford to turn them on. So we're going to be renovating this whole house in the scorching south Texas heat, the only breeze being that provided by the broken windows. Better stock up on sweet tea.
The second-biggest problem (behind the carpet that I dislike), is the fact that the house is sinking into the ground. No, seriously. You saw The Secret of Nimh, right? Just like that. So before we can replace the doors, windows, drywall, or roof, we have to find a pack of anthropomorphic rats to come winch up the house and replace the foundation. Lucky for us, they're in the Yellow Pages under Foundation Repair. I hope to have some quotes in a couple of weeks, I'll let you know how it turns out.
While we're waiting on that, but after I get all me crap moved in, I'm going to be chopping down every green, growing thing in the backyard. A few hours destroying Mother Earth's pit hair will do me good.
We're finally moving out of the Cottage Cheese hell that is our apartment, and into a real, made-out-of-wood-and-held-together-with-nails house. Held mostly together with nails, anyway.
That's the view from the front door. Why yes, how nice of you to notice, the carpet is a violent shade of maroon. It worked for the previous tenants...That's all I've got to say. It was pink, but it worked.
However, I'm not pink; never have been, and that carpet runs through every rat-poxed room in the house but the kitchen and the bathroom.
God help us.
There are ceiling fans and a couple of window air conditioners, but my financial advisor has financially advised me that we can't afford to turn them on. So we're going to be renovating this whole house in the scorching south Texas heat, the only breeze being that provided by the broken windows. Better stock up on sweet tea.
The second-biggest problem (behind the carpet that I dislike), is the fact that the house is sinking into the ground. No, seriously. You saw The Secret of Nimh, right? Just like that. So before we can replace the doors, windows, drywall, or roof, we have to find a pack of anthropomorphic rats to come winch up the house and replace the foundation. Lucky for us, they're in the Yellow Pages under Foundation Repair. I hope to have some quotes in a couple of weeks, I'll let you know how it turns out.
While we're waiting on that, but after I get all me crap moved in, I'm going to be chopping down every green, growing thing in the backyard. A few hours destroying Mother Earth's pit hair will do me good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)