Festive Olive Salad

20 green olives, w/ pimentos
1 oz olive brine
3/4c cheap vodka
1 splash of dry vermouth

Shake with ice, enjoy. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

New blog post.

Dinosaur Pizza.


Buccaneer nuggets.


Aw.


Levi is sooooo glad that he dialed 1-800-...


Ooooh.


And again. I wish I lived in this room.

Good Parenting

Every now and then I get the urge to do something so irresponsible, so terrible, so self abusive, that I wish someone would beat me over the head with a Dobson book screaming "No, you fool! IT'S NOT WORTH THE PAIN!!!"

That's right; I'm baking with the kids.
I have these visions of a Norman Rockwellesque bonding experience, but it almost immediatly degenerates into whing, screaming, open weeping...and then there's the noise the kids make! They fight, and push, and eat the raw dough, and lick the measuring spoons...ERG! They sit and pick little bits out of the formed cookies to test, then cry when their cookies come out of the oven looking like they've had small pox.

I JUST CAN'T STAND IT.

I have nowhere to put anything

Clothes, specifically.
What can I do?

Dining Room

Okay, so here's that window-mirror in the dining room: I started prying the glass panes off and the whole thing just kind of swung off the wall. Guess what was underneath?



Drywall! Nice, undamaged drywall. Mr. Legs remembers when the whole room was that color. The frame was just screwed onto the wall and connected at the top to the real window.


So we primed it and painted it 'Arabian Sands'. I think that wierd blotch in the photographs is the ghost of our electrical system (more about that later).


Here's the hutch, after I put all the school stuff in it.


And here's the whole thing with our pretty new table. I admired it for five minutes, then promptly covered it with a plastic table cloth, chewed crayons and a bit of old tomato sauce.

Pictures!

Tell Blondiekins that she is the most awesome niece EVER. I hope her teachers were suitably dazzled by her brilliance! I hope school gets more interesting soon; Have you told her the reason she's bored is because she's just so smart?

We went to the San Antonio Zoo several years ago, when Mina was little, and it was HORRIBLE. Every other enclosure was empty, there were no birds, the monkeys were old and depressed...It was bad. They've made signifigant improvements since then.
Here's our favorite animal, LaVerne:



She's a nice, polite goat. This is Mindy, who will sneak up on you and knife you in the back for a goat treat. Seriously.



There are about ten goats altogether, but the others are pretty non-descript.

Here is one of the black panthers (they bill them as 'black jaguars) wandering around. Normally they just lay there whining about the heat, but we went on a nice drizzly day and all the animals were up and about.



Here's one of the warthogs. This is the first time the kids got to see one, because normally they're all buried nostril deep in their mud pit. The Twin got a book awhile back called 'A Kiss for a Warthog', that had really cutesy drawings in it, so she couldn't understand why nobody would kiss the warthog; well, now she knows.






Here's the elephant with highly visible 'nibbles', as the Twin pointed out. We got to see her pick up a few tiny little seeds off the ground and eat them. You always hear about how dextrous their trunks are, but I had never realized how much like fingers those little pro-tubers on the end are.



Ducky's favorite animal is the 'High-NO'! She learned what they were by seeing a picture of a blue one on the propane tank canisters outside of Wal Mart. This is the animal she always wants to see.



I don't know, that's the skinniest darn Rhino I've ever seen. There's another one that's healthier-looking, but he was lying down that day, enjoying a little pool of mucky rain on the floor.



Here we are being Nile Crocodiles. Sometimes they lay facing the glass, opening and closing their jaws very slowly. The kids love this.



The hippos are not quite as cool as the High-nos.



Rocket really enjoys the aviary, because it has a giant replica of an extinct 'Elephant Bird' egg. It's a neat little building, theres some birds flying around loose. They live in a little indoor forest and if you go on a day when there are no other people, they will walk right up and stare at you.



I can't remember what these are called, but they were being all cute that day. Probably to make up for the fact that there was a mutilated bird in there with them last time.



And here's Ducky and Spiderman riding Swiper. I think they missed each other.

Stream of conciousness piece brought to you by...My conciousness?

I'm watching 'Rise of the Gargoyles' and contemplating how a bad french accent can make any movie seem a little awesomer. The Brit's a total pansy, of course.
Not much happening here. They've taped & mudded the boy's room, and hopefully will be back (tomorrow? Monday? Who knows!?) to finish the hallway. We moved the old table into the kitchen, under the breakfast bar thingy. It gives me room for my breadmaker, slowcooker, rice cooker, blender, and enough space to use as a counter. It's kind of nice. I think I will pack up the Fostoria and move it to the attic, so I can use the hutch for school stuff. MIL got us a new table that should be here tomorrow.
Tomorrow is also my first big freezer cooking day, hopefully it goes well. I have nine meals, doubled, plus the meals I made last week, so that should feed us for a month or two if I intersperse the freezer meals with beans. It will be nice to not have to worry about dinner prep. We are smoking again a little, but I don't think it will last. $8 a pack, I kid you not. Crazy.
The dogs got their flea meds today and are acting a little wierd. We've been walking again and they seem to have settled down. Swiper was a little nutty when I first got home. Zero has developed a nervous piddling problem, but only around Pete. I'm trying to work him through it. We've spent a lot of time at the zoo these last few days and I made the mistake of telling the kids that both male and female hyenas appear to have boy parts, which has made Cynthia convinced that Zero may, in fact, be a girl. Oops.
They have a solitary asian elephant that looks pretty bored most of the time, but last time she was standing right up near the fence and we got to see her give herself a dust bath. We have made great friends with a goat called LaVerne at the petting zoo, and I'll post pics as soon as I find the darn USB cord.
Also we were looking at the Green Jungle Fowl(precurser to the domesticated chicken) and we got to see one having some kind of a wierd seizure. We reported it to the zoo keepers and got thanked. (yay us.)The Dama Gazelles have two babies, one of whom was born on 9/11.

(This movie reminds me of the Dr. Who episode with the stone angels, only much less creepy. I think the main character was one of the computer nerds from 24.)

Awanas is going well, they seem happy to have us back. I can't believe how much dues are, but of course it's totally worth it. They grouped the Twin in with the same boy she had so much trouble with last year, but at least I'm a part of her group so I can keep an eye on it. I still haven't called about the new church, I'm a little nervous. Ducky is the oldest kid in the nursery and likes to be helpful. She tried to give one of the crawlers crackers last week. The nursery ladies like her, though.

(Why does every monster movie have a crazy priest in it? At least this one carries a sniper rifle, though. Give 'em Watts, boys!)

Mina has finished her math book and I will order her new one tomorrow. It looks pretty fun. I'm getting the supplies together to start her new school year, it looks like a whole truckload of fun. Painting and music and whatnot. Hopefully after she finishes her phonics we can start the english program I have that looks fun too. Once the boy's room is done we'll start going to the library again.

(So the monster's susceptible to UV light. Didn't Disney have a series based on this premise in the early 90s?)

Swiper's snoozing on my bed with Ducky, I guess he's too good to sleep on the floor now. He's having to re-evalute his role as the top dog since I got here. He likes to dig around in the trash, which wouldn't be such a big deal except that I threw a boiled chicken carcass into the bottom of the trashbag this morning, and he just discovered it a few hours ago, after I had piled quite a bit of nastiness on top of it. He also thought that he was allowed to take food off the counters, which led to an extremely uncomfortable situation involving emotional abuse and a wooden spoon. I think we understand each other now, though.

(Watching NCIS now...Is that Turk from Scrubs lying dead on the floor?)

It's supposed to rain tonight, I hope it does. Although technically it's now this morning. I lerv Fridays.
The backyard's covered in green stuff. I found a spiffy chinese-type teapot at Goodwill yesterday, and only realized once I got it home that (der) it didn;t have a handle. I like it though, so I just wrap it in a towl to pour the tea out. The kids like it too; I found some spiffy matching sake cups for them, so now we have a nice tea break whenever it seems appropriate. They like to put a mint leaf in each cup before we pour, no matter what flavor the tea is. This afternoon it was mandarin orange spice with a mint leaf on top. Bleagh. I think maybe I could rig up a real handle with a rope, and a hangman's noose on each side. I'll post pics once I get that stupid %^&*#$% USB cable.

(OK, not Turk. My mistake. Hmm, naming daughter #3 'Ducky' could draw some unpleasant associations...)

Got some more feeder fish for the fish tank. The crabs are doing well. I think they were a little dehydrated. Jack is enjoying his new role as top crab. I think that's it. Hope everyone's well.

stuff

Stephanie king Hunter King Hunter Anthony King Magalia Gavin

Stuff

So the Official Blog Acronyms are Rocket, Mina, ?, Ducky, and RTHTG.
Write it down or something. It's beautiful and rainy here, and cold. I love it.
I'm watching CougarTown and contemplating everything that's wrong with society.

Some Limited Success!

I defrosted the freezer last night, washed it out this morning, and managed to make and freeze tortilla soup, four pounds of 'sweet and sour kielbasa', and parmesan cheesy stuffed jumbo shells. That's a total of six meals, I think. Woot.
Spent awhile trying to find a decent version of a hymn on Itunes, to no avail. Everybody wants to sing like they're Beyonce, when all I want is something I can hum along with.
I found out that we have fleas in our carpet when RTHTG got up this morning; he's covered in bites. I got some de-flea spray and vaccumed out his bed, but if he wakes up with more bites tomorrow we're going to relocate to the In-Laws(God help us) until we can get it fixed. I checked the dogs with a wet flea comb, but there's not a bug, or a bit of bug poo on them. I'm going to call the Orkin guy tomorrow, to see if they can kill fleas.
Construction proceeds slowly, the guys didn't show up today, but I was assured they'd be done by Wednesday, so hopefully that'll work out. The guy at the liquor store remembered me and asked how the trip was, that was kind of nice. He has a new beard and appears to be working on a handlebar mustache.

I had a 'SUPERAWESOMEOMG' idea for a webcomic on the trip home, now I'm debating whether or not to put any effort into actually developing it. I may post a few half-assed sketches here just for fun.

Im trying to think of blog code-names for the kids. All I have so far is RTHTG for the youngest, and Ducky for the second youngest, because of their songs. Suggestions are appreciated.

I miss you all so much.

We got home yesterday afternoon, hitting alot of construction on the way. The house is also a construction site and everything is everywhere. DreadMuffin is dead. Swiper and Zero were pleased to see us...Swiper's gotten fat again. He must be predisposed to that. The kids adjusted okay, we went and got milk and cheese and whatnot last night. Watched the Mayweather/Marquez fight, Marquez lost.
I got up at 7 this morning, that's new. RTHTG is down for his nap, Mr. Legs is wiring R's room. It will be nice to have the use of it again, and it will be much warmer. They tore down the ceiling and put a new one up, so no giant hole for the possums to come through anymore. M & FIL left for Vegas this morning, hope they have a good time.
And that's it.

ETA: I also have a bazillion pounds of bratwurst in my freezer, as well as a rack of ribs. Guess I'll start my freezer cooking adventure with sausage recipes.
Got any?

Casting 'Girl Genius'

Zeetha: Megan Fox the Down Syndrome Chick
Dimo: Benicio Del Toro
Ognian: Steve Zahn
Maxim: Leonardo Decaprio OR Johnny Depp
Von Pinn: Joanne Kelly
Lars: Elijah Wood
Calming Pie: Ben Steinn
Master Payne: John Ryhs-Davies
Krosp: Voice of James Garner
Bangledesh Dupree: Vanessa Ferlito
The Baroness: Emma Thompson
Baron Wulfenbach: David Mcallum or Alan Rickman
Othar Triggvassen: Kenneth Braunaugh
Wooster: James D'arcy

This list subject to frequent updates, tweaking and arguments.

How to survive a riot:

Wear long pants, long sleeves, and a cap. Expose as little skin as possible.

Move away from the riot. The more time you spend in the midst of a riot, the greater your chance of being injured or killed. That said, in most circumstances it's better to move out of a riot slowly. If you run, you will draw attention to yourself, so it's usually best to walk. It can also be dangerous to move against a crowd, so go with the flow until you are able to escape into a doorway or up a side street or alley. It may also be advantageous to stay with the crowd until you are certain you can safely escape because it will help you remain inconspicuous and improve your odds of survival if shots are fired.

Think of crowd movement like currents in the ocean. In a large riot, the crowd in the middle will be moving faster than the people on the perimeters. As such, if you find yourself in the middle, you should not try to move in a different direction, but follow the flow and slowly make your way to the outside. This requires patience in order to work properly.

Do not approach police lines to attempt to cross to safety. Police are in place to confine the unrest and prevent its spread. Their orders are usually not to allow anyone to pass. The use of riot control measures, including rubber bullets, tear gas, and water cannons originate from the police line, and the likelihood of injury is greatest there.

Just, you know...FYI.

Ratatouille for kids

My kids, especially the boy, love Disney's Ratatouille. Rocket wants to be a chef when he grows up. So for fun, we made kid-friendly ratatouille and ate it while watching the movie. Lots of fun.





It's just summer squash, calabacita, and tomato sauce with italian seasoning on top. It was really good, although it was more like italian food than french food, I'm sure.

Speaking of food, you should read this

The Doom Room

I feel antsy. Nervous...I feel the need to stockpile. Up till now, the huge insurmountable problem has been space, but something finally drove me off my fat butt to clean out the hall closet (well, mostly).
So here it is:




As you can see, I already have the basics; a box of Alchi-Checkers and a Kokopeli candle holder, but I'm looking to branch out. Only enough for a few weeks, I'm not trying to recreate Ruby Ridge or anything...

Here's what I think I need.

20 gallons of water, or thereabouts.
20 cans of beans
20 cans of tuna
20 cans of fruit
20 cans of veggies
4 cans of propane for the camp stove
1 bag of dog food (let's face it, they can probably forage a whole lot more efficiently than I can)
3 bottles of Old Crow (for, you know...wounds and stuff)
Probably some gauze...
Coffee

It's hot.

Samurai Repairmen

It was they who instructed me in the Way of the Laundry Appliance.
It was they who gave me the confidence to act with...Confidence.
It was they who directed me onto the path of Awesomness.
Bow before the Samurai Repairmen!!!

www.fixitnow.com

Canyon Lake

We got to see a deer as we were driving to our campsite.



Here's the view from our picnic table...It was unbelievably hot, but we set the baby's play pen up underneath the little picnic area and got everything put together.



Pete and the kids went down to the lake and found a nice place to wade. Unfortunately, the water was warm.




We had two barn swallow pairs nesting in our roof, and we got to watch them hunt bugs for their babies. I don't think they were very impressed with us, though...



Pete fiddling with the tent.



Breakfast time! Roland and I didn't actually sleep, so I was up early. I set up the campstove, then realized I hadn't brought anything to heat the coffee water in. So, I used the can from the kid's orange juice. It worked pretty well. Bacon, eggs, etc. were enjoyed by all.



There was some frisbeeing.



And some general silliness as we packed up.



Here's the fishing dock, lying on dry ground next a sign that said "Water levels may vary, watch for obstructions".



Here's a nice picture:



On the other side of that tree, is a big, battered travel trailer, three ATVs, two lounging hound dogs, a guy in his boxers & a wife beater, a woman in a pair of daisy dukes and plaid shirt knotted around her belly. These two were throwing the deer corn, as one of their young sons lounged on the ATVs drinking either Diet Coke or Miller Light. I actuaslly saw him crush the can on his head.
The other kid was sitting on one of the dogs, trying to keep them from scaring the deer, I guess.

It was really surreal.

OMYFRIKKINDAMMIT(some cussing ahead)

So, I went in for my root canal...I had an actual, lung-crackling, vomit-inducing panic attack, but the tiny, little, rational part of me was like "It's cool, it'll all be over soon!"

Nooooooo, you ignorant slut!!!

I went to the dentist, she numbed me up good, then started drilling. It didn't hurt at all. I was good to go. I had read up on the procedure before hand, so I kind of knew what to expect. It went pretty quickly.
Then, it was time for them to stick pin-like drills into the roots of my teeth and take X-rays, to make sure that they had drilled all the way down. Cool, I'm still numb. However, I have a tiny mouth(don't laugh, it's true). Taking X-rays has always been kind of hit or miss with me, and I mentioned it to them before.
Anyhow...They stuck the files in three times, took three sets of X-rays, before they got a set they could use. My mouth had pretty much un-numbed by this time, as she was seeing other patients in between working on me. Whatever.

Finally, after about two hours, she realizes that they haven't gotten the entire nerve out. So does she re-numb me? NO, she just drills the fuck out my teeth as quick as she can.
Whatever, it's almost over and I just want to be done with this. So they stick cotton in my teeth and go off to do other dentist stuff. When they come back, the assistant is like, "Wow, that's a lot of blood!" And the dentist is like "Stick another wad of cotton in there!" So I wait some more, and I wait some more...
And then the dentist comes back and starts digging around with her little hook, trying to figure out why I'm still bleeding (When I bleed, dammit, I BLEEDS!).

"Oh wow, she says, You have a fourth root!"

Cause, you know, three X-rays are apparently not enough to detect an anomalous fourth root.
Well, she can't deal with that, so now I have to go see an endodontist, who will charge me approximately twice as much (according to Metlife's handy cost estimator).
Okay, whatever, it sucks. So the receptionist calls to make me an appt but, bad news. They can't get me in till the 6th of August. I'm not going to be here in August, so I said what about September? figuring that if waiting one month is okay, waiting two wouldn't be a big deal. OH MY GOD, NO! They are shocked! I can't wait THAT long!

So I call the endodontist later and find out that they have a convenient opening on the 6th of JULY. WTF. The kicker is, the receptionist asked if I wanted to let them keep the money I had paid to put towards my fillings...Even though the fillings are going to cost half what the damn root canal did.
Somebody just kill me.

Dental jitters

I'm getting a root canal and a butt load of fillings Thursday morning at 9:00.
Hopefully it won't take too long.

Stuff

Newly white front room:


My new crab, Mr. Parslow:


Mr. Parslow and Stephen:


Swiper sleeping with his tongue sticking out:


In other news, I have the armchair primed, I'm just waiting for payday so I can get some enamel for it and the rocking chair. I'm going to have to find a fabric store that sells upholstery foam, Michaels didn't have any.

We went to the company picnic yesterday; the kids had a lot of fun. Rocky and Maria got to try one of those bungee-jumper things.

Window bloomers

I don't know why, they just really remind me of underwear.
Still, I think I did a pretty good job, and it lets a little light in. It'll look better once the walls are white again.
Here's another chair I found:





It's old, greasy, and stuffed with horsehair, but I think it's pretty. I'm going to try to re-upholster it. I haven't sat in it (it really is disgusting) but it looks deep and comfortable.

And this is a little table I found. I thought it would be nice to set a glass of water on while feeding the baby, if I can get everything finished sometime before he weans...I'm not sure what I'll do for the top, maybe tile? I had thought it would be cool to get a piece of Corian for it, but I don't know if they'll sell me a piece that small.

Big Trash Day

I love Big Trash Day.
It's like a giant, city-wide free yard sale.
I have to go 'shopping' by myself though, since Mr. legs is apparently too good to go digging through other people's trash. ;-P



Hopefully this means it's super awesome:



Mr. Legs is going to help me fix it up. Instead replacing the cane, I think I'm going to make some cushions for it. And I'll probably paint it glossy white.