Waking up on shopping day is like waking up the day of a marathon; filled with fear, self-doubt, and a strong urge to chicken out.
It's not pretty on a good day, herding four kids through Sam's club, then Walmart, then HEB. Today it took me an hour to find an alternate route because some jackass decided they would close EVERY SINGLE ON RAMP to the 10 west.
The first stop must always be the bathroom. Try manuvering a cart full of children through one of those stupid little mazes that are so popular now without running into the blue-hairs that enjoy lurking around every corner and you'll understand what I mean. Potty everyone, make sure all toilets are flushed, all hands are washed, then inch your way back out the latrinarynth. Now you're ready to go.
Bypass the candy aisle. Pick up the baby. Dodge young couples who somehow manage to block the entire aisle while picking out a 40lb jar of cheezy poofs. Compare price per ounce of diced potatos vs. diced potatos w/ chile pepper. Watch out for the 3 foot asian granny who can't see over her cart but refuses to go less than 80 miles an hour. Grab a bag of craisins. Pull a kid out of the path of a fork lift. complain loudly that bread prices have gone up a dollar.
But at the end of the day, when the kids are recuperating in front of a movie, and the toilet paper has been stacked into a perfect geometrical pyramid under the bathroom sink, I am filled with joy and satisfaction, like a squirrel who knows exactly where her nuts are.
I shopped REALLY WELL today. I finally left behind the expensive packages of individually canned vegetables($6) and went for the economy sized restaraunt vats($2). I bought 15 dozen eggs instead of planning to buy another four dozen next week. My box of powdered milk is chilling in the fridge, ready at a moment's notice. Truly, my cupboards overfloweth.
Thanks for teaching me, Mom.
2 comments:
You
are
the
COOLEST
WOMAN
I
KNOW
I dare you to name one other woman (relatives as always excepted, cause, let's face it, we're all crazy in the same ways from living together for so long) who thinks of a visit to Sam's club as an Indiana Jones-Esque adventure complete with giant rolling forklifts.
And as far as the poilet paper pyramid goes, I still stack mine in octogons. But I love you anyway.
Greece is Greek. I ate rabbit stew the other day, only partly on purpose. Also bought a bag of what turned out to be tangerines from an old lady on the side of the road who must be related to your asian lady. I swear this lady was bent double and maybe came up to my waist. All those years of picking olives off the ground, I think. The tangerines were delicious.
You are entirely welcome! I love reading what you wrote. You capture the essence of the day so well. Stay warm!
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