YOU ENEMA-SIPPING SWINE

The Sweeney Todd let-down was not enough, eh Hollywood? You had to rape The Mist too?

Fred Darbont, you suck. Stephen King, you suck too. You have always sucked, only now that you're mutilating the ONE STORY of yours that I kind of liked, you've gone beyond it. I can only hope that you and your cow-tonguing sap of a director will collapse under the magnitude of your collective disgrace. The ending was GOD-AWFUL. Your attempts at emotional manipulation were juvenile and crass. I know you were trying to be all tragic and oscar-worthy, but it just came off as cold and punitive. That's what you get for your stupid hope! Shoot your kid to spare him from the monsters and then find out it was totally pointless because everything's fine! You could have just pasted that "Look at me, I'm an attention whore!" graphic over the last ten minutes of the movie and it would have been fine.

Your transparently superior attitude, your over the top church lady villain, your blatant sneering at the 'small town hicks', it was just too over-blown, too obvious. Your imagery was subtle. I especially like that part where she was praying to the toilet, and then your heroine comes in and is so sweet and supportive, and then the evil church lady starts being all mean for no reason. That was classic. Who's being preachy again? You spent more time spewing out Bible verses in this moving than most people do in church! And of course, we have to throw abortion, and stem cell research, and child sacrifice into the mix! After all, people who are against the first two are totally fine with the third one! Those wacky Christians!

You simpering catamites should hop into the sack with whoever wrote yesterday's Dr. Who episode. "Meh, I'm a whiny little girly-man who doesn't like being around people with guns cause they're the bad guys, meh!" Dear sweet mother of Bill Clinton, you're a time & space bending, face changing TIMELORD who goes around thwarting evil and fighting hideous aliens with laser swords but TINY LUMPS OF COPPER CARRIED BY ENGLAND'S MILITARY MEN MAKE YOU SOIL YOUR KOTEX?

Every time I find a TV show or movie I think I will love, you have to ruin it by tossing in a bunch of unrelated diarrheal mouth dribblings trying to educate me. They are like hideous pulsing carbuncles, distracting me from the movie beneath and sweeping away all feelings except that of rage at your arrogance.
Thank you, movie & TV industry, for attempting to enlighten us. Thank you for spending millions of dollars trying to lift us from our pig infested hovels and lead us, mewling like filth encrusted babes, into the light.

CHOKE ON YOUR SWIVING COSMOPOLITANS AND DIE.