Sweeney Todd

Dear Mr. Burton,

You stupid lunk. I waited. I waited and waited for months, for that movie to come out On Demand. I was so excited about it. I mean, Tim Burton + Helena Bonham Carter, what could go wrong? Everything, apparently. That movie sucked. It was crap. It took my high expectations, flung them to the ground, then stomped them into powder.

I was hoping for a black masterpiece; The Count of Monte Cristo meets Edward ScissorHands. Instead, you gave me Natural Born killers 1845 with a big dollop of Borat the retarded Italian on top.

First of all:
Johnny Depp should not sing. Neither should Sasha Cohen. Putting either one of these guys in a musical requiring anything more than a piratical "yo-ho!" is just beyond idiocy.

The songs were poorly written, and badly delivered by everyone except Mrs. Lovett.
Maybe the complicated, overlapping tunes sound beautiful when sung in a theatre by trained vocalists, but in the movie they bit. Hard. Limb-severingly hard. And the lyrics were rubbish. This was supposed to be a movie about razors, not hatchets.



Mrs. Lovett's hair was awesome.



There was no winner. I wanted them all to die in the end, but received no satisfaction when they did. My biggest regret is that Johanna and her mealy-faced emo-boi survived, because now there's going to be a sequel. "Johanna, the fallen cosmetologist of Glasgow".

If you were going to make a story that had no heros, why not follow the historical storyline & just make it into a period horror flick? Why did you subject me to an hour and fifty-six minutes of bad singing and nihilistic moralizing?
The only redeeming part of this film was Helena Bonham Carter and her wonderful hair.

You suck, Tim Burton. With an epic suckage.

iPoo'd

I's hot here. So very, very hot.
The kids are out in the pool splashing around. The baby and I were out there a bit ago, but then the dog thought he'd get in on the action so I let her run around naked in the house while she dried off. She was playing with my iPod headphones (I bet you see where this is going) when I heard a wet, squishy sound and looked over to see that she had laid them on the floor, popped a squat, and...yeah. Man has yet to invent a cleaner that can remove baby-poo stains from anything white.

That's about the most fascinating thing that's happened so far this week...We got our tax rebate, which is cool. Mr. Legs renewed my WOW subscription for Mother's day, that's been fun. Tonight's movie night, we're probably going to watch Alvin & the Chipmunks again...I didn't like it at first, but it's kind of grown on me. Maybe it's just their soulful rendition of 'Bad Day' during the opening credits. (Available for your viewing pleasure here.)
I'm still waiting anxiously for the 16th, when Sweeney Todd is available On Demand. Did you know that was a true story? It was a big deal when it happened.
The beginning of criminal forensics, apparently, since the prosecution used a deformed femur to prove a victim's identity.
I should go make rice.

Meaningless, meaningless.

I'm feeling moody and depressed right now. It has been uniformly overcast these past few day; overcast, sticky and hot. None of the movies I want to watch are on TV. I have reached the end of the internet and it no longer interests me. I always tell Mr. Legs "never feel trapped; you always have options." but I don't know if it's true anymore. The kids are screaming at each other in their bedrooms.
I had a little sleep this afternoon and woke up totally disoriented; It was one of those unremarkable, reality-based dreams that don't seem like dreams. It took me a minute to realize where I was. Fiesta is going on right now. Maria was so excited about the whole thing and I promised her I'd take her somewhere fun like the carnival or something, but I will not be able to.
This whole job thing makes everything look terrible. I wish I knew how to cheer him up about it.
Regret is choking me.

Weight Pulling

I took Swiper to his first weight pulling class yesterday, and he did great! He pulled 20 pounds for about four hours, around and around and around. He didn't mind the harness at all, and James, the instructor, was very pleased with him.



Here we are debating the benefits of pulling through the mud puddle vs. stopping all this nonsense and going home.



Seriouly though, he did great. He would have gone all day if I could have kept up. James kept checking Swiper's skin temperature to make sure he wasn't overheating but he was fine. We stopped every ten minutes to let another dog share the harness, but she was a little overweight and got hot quickly so she couldn't pull as long. Some one brought his husky and Swiper lapped him twice. I think using the backpack every morning is the reason he was so nonchalant about pulling the sleigh.




I really had a good time; I love all these people and their dogs.

I'm sick. Pity me.

Yeah, the title says it all.
Yesterday We went to a pitbull group meetup. It was a lot of fun. It was breezy and sunny and the park was really beautiful. Swiper got to hang out with dogs his size, only a few of whom mocked his rockin' new collar.



My sewing machine's stuck, so I had to sew the whole thing backwards, but we're taking it to be cleaned & repaired tommorow.
ANyway, the meetup was alot of fun. Here's some pictures:









That last one is Tyrone, who may be my favorite member of the group. Last time I saw him he had an undiagnosed medical condition. He had very little hair, his skin was scaly and icky-looking, and he just looked like the living dead dog. Now he's on some thyroid meds and he's jumpy & wiggly like a puppy should be. He was especially fond of Lenora, he planted himself in front of the stroller and licked her feet.

Brief synopsis of the past few weeks:

I made a cart harness that was too small for Swiper, so here it is on Charlie. After these pictures I ripped it up and fixed it, but I still haven't sewn the neck strap on.


Here is Swiper's really cool collar that is now covered in some as yet unidentified stinky paste.


This our fish tank. The beta and the guppy have died, but the goldfish seems to be fine.







This is the opossum that Swiper caught inside our house last night. I had to pick it up with a pair of tongs and carry it outside. It did not seem impressed, but at least Swiper didn't actually hurt him. Just slimed his fur really good.




This our new back door. We put it in all by ourselves. At 11pm. I think that's probably why the neighbors hate us.

Charlie

Here he is, in all his toothy glory:


And my knee. Pretty cute, huh? And so polite. hasn't barked yet. It's been fun having him here. Cynthia's especially fond of him, but hopefully he'll find a good home soon.